Broken

Broken. I can't really express the feeling of losing something very dear to you, but for those of you who have felt it maybe you can understand my pain. Even though my heart has been crushed, God is bigger than this. So much bigger in fact, that my issues pale in comparison to the rest of the world, but that's the beauty of our Lord, He still cares. Today the feeling of being broken, even now, is coupled with relief and joy. It brings me to tears to think of my loss at this moment, but even more so thinking of how much my father in heaven cares; and to know His plan in this is so grand.

I have prayed many things over the last few days and I asked God to have it just fall away if it wasn't of Him. And even though it hurts so bad to know that breaking my heart was His plan for me, especially knowing the history behind my dilemma, knowing that He had to break my heart so He could build it up the way He wants is so much more beautiful and precious to me. It's amazing being able to see God's grace even in our most troubling of times... I still can't believe that what has been for so long is now gone, but knowing that God is right here beside me is comforting. "I miss my friend" and even though that may be true my loss has reunited me with my Lord and savior.

Love hurts and it's definitely not easy, but going through this trial is showing me just how much God loves me and how he feels about me every day. All I can do is put it all in His hands and follow Him wherever He leads me. It's going to be very difficult though, but I'm ready. Praise the Lord even through the storm. "When life is in discord, Praise be the Lord." - Anberlin